Monday, August 3, 2009

Mating Rituals of Homo Sapiens

I made a night of it on Saturday, which is sadly becoming increasingly difficult to make happen.  First, we went to Dahm's to view our notorious appearance on Jerry Springer (see March 3 post).  It just aired last week and it was hilarious.  Very weird to see myself on camera though I must say, especially that camera.  There was actually one really funny moment where Jerry said, "She's taking her shoes off, we know what that means," which, for those who aren't intimate with Jer-Bear like I am, is the indication that this girl is about to come out and they're going to rip each other's hair out.  The camera pans to the crowd and you see me yelling "Yeah!" exuberantly and dropping my fist like Tiger Woods does when he sinks a putt.  I never wanted to hold office anyways.  

Later that evening, I met up with a bunch of former co-workers for our buddy Nick's birthday celebration at a bar downtown.  So I'm having a great time hanging out with everybody and catching up.  At one particular juncture, I'm having a conversation with a friend/former coworker Courtney, and one guy I just met that evening jumps in and puts his arm around me and says "my man, what's up dude?"  I come up with some half-ass response and he goes straight to Courtney and starts trying to strike up conversation.  I see what's happening here.  The old "Use the guy, regardless of how small your connection to him is, to get in to talk to the girl" technique.  Seen it once, seen it a million times.   "Oh hey, didn't see you there.  I was just hanging with my best friend who I don't even know and you happened to be here!  That's crazy!"

Next thing I know, like four more dudes come over and swarm around Courtney.  I've heard about this kind of thing but never really witnessed it in person.  It looked exactly like this clip beginning at the 1:50 mark.  Did I act like this once?  Was I this aggressive?  I don't think so.  I hope not.  Wow.  Guys are ridiculous, aren't we?  Anyways, I stuck around because being that I was overwhelmed by this, I knew it was five times worse for Courtney who was now cornered after running out of room to backpedal.  Eventually, the guys gathered her lack of interest and moved on I think.  That part went something like this.  It was really sad, as a male, to see this all unfold.  I mean the first guy, ok fine, decent move, worth a shot.  But the second through fourth guys, you just make all of you look pathetic by all hovering around one girl.  I mean, she's alright but at the end of the day, she's just another chick at a bar (Sorry Courtney, ego check time after the last two paragraphs!).  

Song of the Day:

Meese - Forward Motion


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