Sunday, April 26, 2009

"The Anti-Christ of Light Beer"

Carrie and I decided on somewhat of a whim to head down to Three Floyds Brewing Company ("FFF") in Munster, Indiana on Saturday for Dark Lord Day 2009.  The jist of this magical day is that FFF sells their Dark Lord Russian Imperial Stout one day per year and on this day, they hold a huge party with tastings, music, food and merchandise.  Our expectations were basically that there would be some locals and some beer fans but would otherwise be a pretty low key experience.  We couldn't have been more wrong.  Thousands of beer geeks flock to this event from every corner of the country and as it turned out, you actually had to buy a "golden ticket" on St. Patrick's Day to even get the opportunity to drink the dark lord's brew.  Upon arrival, we also found out that even if you had a golden ticket, you had to wait in a half mile long line.  Basically, we were two rookies who had no idea what we were getting into.  

We eventually made our way into the brewery/warehouse where we tasted rare beers from all over and also enjoyed the FFF staple - Alpha King.  In the meantime, metal music was playing and we met a ton of interesting people.  No one looked down on us for being two yuppies from the city who don't know as much about beer as they do.  We were even invited to an event this summer.  It's safe to say Carrie was the hottest girl in Munster yesterday, probably any day for that matter.  In fact, in a stunning turn of events, she actually left me for this guy:

I can't say I blame her really.  I mean that is a really great t-shirt.  Regardless, such a loss pales in comparison to what I gained when they started giving out golden tickets to the masses at 4:30 pm.  Yes, that's right my friends.  I gained access to buy four coveted bottles of the Dark Lord for a mere $15 per 22 oz. bottle.  Then, Carrie realized she needed a ride home to Chicago so we got back together, which is cool I guess.   We have both tasted this delicious concoction and can say that it is indeed worth the hype.  What a day.  I can't say enough about this event.  When we got back and stopped by a wine shop on the way to deliver a bottle as a gift, we were instant celebrities.  The store owner actually asked to borrow the bottle of Dark Lord so that he could take a picture of it.  Hilarious!  I won't lie, it feels good.  Unfortunately, I think I have become a living, breathing beer snob and may never enjoy cheap beer again.  

Here are some sights and sounds, including the below website, which explains things in less than 2,000 words.  Sorry, I'm still pretty overwhelmed by the whole experience, but I at least waited a day so that this was only partially a rambling incoherent mess.  

Friday, April 24, 2009

Get ready for the Dark Lord.....

Monday, April 20, 2009

Humor 101

Another funny establishment name and sign.  For those who are unfamiliar with comedy, I will now proceed to explain why this is funny, Turd Ferguson style.  

First, let's take the name "Elbo Room."  This involves a couple techniques.  First, it is a "Play on words."   "Elbow room" refers to ample space, but since this establishment is a bar, the name also refers to the fact that it is indeed a room.  This is also "Irony" as the bar actually appears to be very small, implying that there is usually little or no "elbo room."  In addition, this is also a "Blend word."  I don't find blend words to be funny on their own but this one seems funny because the size of the sign makes one think that they ran out of room and just decided to make it ELBOROOM instead of ELBOW ROOM.  This makes it a "Blunder" too!!  Oh man!  Stop!  Too much!  Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha.  

Second, there is the advertisement, "We killed all the penguins."  This is a type of humor called "Nonsensism."  What penguins?  Why were penguins in a bar in Chicago?  Why did you kill them?  Penguins are great.  Why did you have to kill them so that people would come to the bar?  Are there still penguin remnants in the bar?  Did you really kill them?  How could  you?  Haven't you ever seen March of the Penguins??????!!!!!!!!!

As an aside, this blog would generally be considered a form of satire.    

On another note, now that I am gamefully employed and after week 1, it appears that this will continue to be the case, I need to find another countdown.  Doing negative days unemployed was funny (to me) for a couple blog posts and can also be considered a "Recovery" (combination of blunder and wit)  because we all know there's no such thing as negative days.   However, I need a new tally or countdown of sorts and am stumped for the moment so I am open to suggestions.  Comment or e-mail me at  

Days wanting for a new tally or countdown: 1  
("Joke" - funny story ending with a funny climactic twist)

Monday, April 13, 2009


Carrie's birthday was on March 29 but she didn't get to enjoy it because she was swamped with work.  I decided to throw a post-birthday surprise party in conjunction with her mom so she could finally hang with her friends.  Success!  She had no idea.  I got a cake from Sweet Mandy B's (best place ever).  Almond cake with coffee frosting - it was phenomenal.  After the fact, we went to Joe's on Weed for the "farewell" concert by a local cover band called Then Again.  The reason why farewell is in quotes is because the ticket said "Farewell Concert '09," which I found to be hilarious.  Something tells me they'll be back but in the meantime, I won't hold my breath.  For the exact reason why our 80's party was awesome (great playlist, not the overplayed standards), these guys weren't.  First, they played Sweet Child of Mine by Guns n' Roses but didn't play the guitar solo due to lack of talent, which is really the only reason to play this song.  They played the standards, and only the standards, including what I think are the top three most hackneyed (love that word) songs in this quadrant of the Milky Way Galaxy:

1.  Journey - Don't Stop Believin
2.  Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me
3.  Bon Jovi - Livin On A Prayer

For #3, not only did they cop out again by not going up an octave on the last chorus, THEY PLAYED THE SONG TWICE!!!!  Once acoustic, then regular later on.  This is completely unacceptable behavior as a cover band, or any band.  The fourth Bon Jovi song signaled it was long past time to go.   Oh, and as you can see, if you didn't know already, I'm an unapologetic music snob.  

One bright spot - they had a guest singer who came on periodically and was very good.  I took a video, which will hopefully work.  The singer's name is Gina Glocksen.  American Idol buffs may know her as a top 10 finalist in the sixth season.  I saw her sing somewhere before and therefore knew this fact despite not being an American Idol buff.  I don't watch it, I promise!  Anyways, she does a great Kelly Clarkson impression, except it may be hard to tell because the sound quality is bad until the chorus.  

"My Life Would Suck Without Then Again featuring Gina Glocksen"

Bottom line: As far as cover bands go, Then Again is definitely no Monsters of Mock.  

Man Date(s)

In my final week of unemployment, I was hoping to actually enjoy the time off, which I hadn't done up until that point.  In hindsight, I wish I would have done more but the weather wasn't great and the days go remarkably fast when you know your days are numbered.  I did, however, do a man-date on two consecutive days.  On Monday, Seth and I went bowling ($1 games on Monday afternoons at Diversey Rock n' Bowl).  Both of our performances were so bad that it warrants no further discussion.  

Tuesday, Dahm and I went to the Art Institute for free.  Can't two guys go to an art museum together without generating questions?  No?  Ok.  Well, we went and blitzed through as much of the museum as we could in an afternoon.  We looked for the weapons section that used to be there, as if seeing weapons at the art museum would better justify two straight guys hitting up the museum.  Unfortunately, the fact remained that we were two dudes who went to the art museum together....and the weapons were gone.  Whatever.  I'm cultured, I can appreciate pretty pictures.  

Here were a couple of my favorites (which I knew to take pictures of without a flash).  I don't have any elaborate explanations for why I liked either one of these.  I liked the first one (Charles Sheeler - The Artist Looks at Nature) because there's not really any nature at all and he's painting the inside of a house while looking at the outside.  Very clever.  I am also a big fans of pictures of pictures.  A personal favorite is taking a picture of Asian tourists taking pictures, which I could have done but didn't at the Art Institute.  They were looking at the famous painting of the farmer holding a pitchfork with his wife standing beside him.  I liked the second painting (El Greco - The Feast In the House of Simon) just because.  The Hugh Hefner robes and facial expressions were highlights I guess.  I like El Greco a lot.  View of Toledo is one of my favorite paintings period.  It is at least a 70% probability that this is my first and only art-related post.  


 Days Unemployed: -10 (counted from when I received word of being hired)

The Victory Tour Continues

First, let me address my lack of blogging for the last week despite still having lots of time.  I have been on a victory tour of sorts to celebrate the new job, which has involved a lot of things, namely partying.  However, I also bought a new bike!  I've been meaning to do this for a while and made a campaign promise to buy a road bike once I got a job.  So, last Saturday I bought one of these:

Synapse Alloy 5

I'm sure anyone reading this is asking themselves, why did Sean choose the 2009 Cannondale Synapse Alloy 5 in particular?  I'm glad you asked.  First, I was leaning towards a Cannondale initially because I liked how their frames are handmade in America.  Second, I thought the bike components matched up well versus components for similarly priced bikes from other brands.  Third, I loved it when I took it for a test drive.  Lastly, Being able to bargain a $100 discount was the clincher.  

A week later, I must say, this is one of the greatest purchases I have ever made.  Normally, you get buyer's remorse for a purchase like this.  No way.  I've taken three 20-30 mile rides already with ease - except for the third ride when the last 15 miles was into a 20 mph headwind with big gusts and the temperature dropped below 40 along the lake.  Ouch.  Anyways, riding one of these is night and day from your typical hybrid or leisure bike.  I guess now I'm a cyclist, not a biker?  

Saturday, April 4, 2009

"Shootin at the walls of heartache....

...Bang!  Bang!  I am the warrior."

In yet another spectacle for the ages, a group of us put together a smashing 80's party to celebrate B-Rad's birthday....AND as it turned out, me getting a job offer!!!!!  The main objective here was to not be your run of the mill haphazard party that completely misrepresents the 80's.  So, as a result, much time was spent on lasers, mirrors, a fog machine, a video playlist and an audio playlist.  The playlist included a who's who of 80's stars personally assembled by yours truly and B-Rad.  You won't hear these jams every weekend in your neighborhood bar, one of which was The Warrior by Scandal.  Other classic examples from the video playlist include:

Loverboy - Turn Me Loose.  This video was taken from American Bandstand with Dick Clark.  The best part is when Dick Clark says "There's a lot riding on this band" before they start the song.  I don't know about you, but when I think about a phrase that may be said about Tiger Woods and golf but references rock music, I think Loverboy.  

Cameo - Word Up
Murray Head - One Night In Bangkok
Dio - Holy Diver
Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams (and into my car)
New Order - True Faith.  This video is so amazing it requires a link.  
Falco - Rock Me Amadeus
Glass Tiger - Don't Forget Me 
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up.  He's not only a white guy, he's a ginger.  Who woulda thunk it?

Days Unemployed: -1