Thursday, May 7, 2009

Biography Day

Yesterday, I was told that I needed to create a biography to go on our website. This was quite an exciting moment for me. Stepping up to the big time - getting a bio on the website. Somehow, having never written my own biography before, without even thinking, I instinctively knew how I had to approach this. Names have been blurred out to protect my employment in the event of an errant google search.
Sean Tracy joined ********* in April 2009 as an Associate for the ***********. Sean comes to ********** straight from the golf course, where he spent many weekdays trying to improve his handicap to no avail. Prior to his time on the golf course, Sean got really good at guitar hero. Like expert level good. Boy band good even. Wait, that’s bad. Never mind. In the two years leading up to his unemployment stint, Sean spent a block of time at ************** where his soul was consistently beaten like a drum in a Maori tribal ritual dance. After nearly four years in finance, Sean is a master of the “wall street vernacular” also known as “b-school vernacular.” At the end of the day, to the extent that you don’t know what this is, he is willing to circle back at any time to get you up to speed.

Sean is nearly six feet tall, weighs approximately 175 pounds, can bench press a lot and can run a really fast 40 yard dash time. He went to Harvard, and as a result, is entitled to look down upon just about anyone while putting forth a dismissive backhand wave of the hand, followed by a curt “ha!” He is uber-muscular, in-shape, and bronzed like whoa and expects the same out of the ladies….err the job. His interests…err qualifications include movies, music, going out, good food, fun talkative people, long walks on the beach, and texting…LOL. No room for haterz tho. If u don’t like me, I don’t care!!! Don’t hate the playa, hate the game!!! T Money out!


  1. So, net-net, after boiling the ocean for a couple of weeks for new roles, you've been incentivized back into the work force and are ramping up into your new position.

  2. i thought you were gonna post some bands you've been listening to on this site...waiting impatiently