"I'll be the one in black..."

...A very unhelpful tip Graham gave me to help me find him upon arriving to the scene of all scenes - a death metal concert. Thankfully Graham is 6'8 and I've since learned that everyone who attends death metal concerts and isn't a 10 year old kid is 5'2 and 125 lbs. I guess I'd be angry too if I was so scrawny. I'll tell you what though - this is their one shot to throw their small amount of weight around. I've never been blatantly shoved, jostled, and walked through in my life like I was last night. I just had to laugh at the audacity of these wimps. I figure they either count on that reaction or just don't care if they die, hence their attachment to death metal. I have to say, this was a pretty special experience because when else do you get to hang with people like this:

So, here's how it all went down. We were going to see Children of Bodom. Skeleton Witch and Black Dahlia Murder opened for them (I'm not kidding, I swear). As soon as you walked into the place, you could smell sweat, dirty hair, and most of all teen angst. I missed Skeleton Witch but as Black Dahlia Murder was doing their sound check, the lead singer goes, "check, check check...brgghhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." And for those who don't know, brggghhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa is the "growl" from this video.

During the Black Dahlia Murder set, there was this teenage couple (roughly 14ish) who were relentlessly making out. They stopped for a while, but then they launched into it again when Black Dahlia Murder turned the romance on high with "Closed Casket Requiem." Other gems from the evening included "Christ Deformed", "Statutory Ape", "Are You Dead Yet?", and "Blood Drunk." Children of Bodom even calls their fans the Hate Crew.

Thus, Sunday September 27, 2009 was the very day that my mom feared when I was 10 and she still wouldn't let me listen to any non-Christian music besides the Beach Boys and Phil Collins. Don't worry mom, I don't like death metal and after last night, I am not convinced to do drugs, hate and/or kill my parents, nor worship Satan. Last night, I learned that with this kind of music, there's no point in lyrics. There's just hard thrashing guitars and lots of f-bombs to give anger-ridden teenagers a chance to take out their hatred for pretty much everything by relentlessly launching themselves into each other. I even remember when I had a bit of that anger myself.

Now, fast forward....Years of disappointment with stupid humans, the corporations being all corporationy, and the government being just horrible have made me grizzled and indifferent to the status quo. While I admire the aspirations of Children of Bodom to change the world (though they're probably not sure to what) through metal, "telling those bastards what we think of their rules," will not actually be heard by "those bastards" because those bastards don't listen to heavy metal. And even if they did, they wouldn't understand what you're saying because you're just growling and screaming nonsense the whole time. Oh wait a second. I'm grown up, I wear a brooks brothers shirt and dress pants every day, and earn a decent living. I am one of those bastards!

I must say this about metal though, at least Children of Bodom. The musicians are actually really, really talented. They have to be. Every song is so fast so there's a lot of notes in a short period of time, which makes for some really impressive guitar and bass. The drums are cool too because the bass drummer has to play two bass drums instead of the normal one. Bottom line - I respect the talent but am just not that into metal as a genre. However, it makes for great people watching and is actually no harder on the ears than any other concert. There should definitely be a "Next Metal Star" if there isn't already. Then again, what makes it heavy metal also makes it not fit for TV I guess. Long live death! (note the irony). Brrrrgghhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Song of the Day:

Children of Bodom - Are You Dead Yet?